Whew, what a day! We started off today before our gotcha appointment by visiting a local mall that we walked to. It was about a 20 minute walk. We managed to purchase alot of drinks, bottled water, toy each for boys, and then a new suitcase to haul it all back :) We left the hotel at 2:30PM and went to the Lottery Hotel about 30 minutes away. We entered a room with 4 other families waiting for their children. It was very surreal just sitting in there hearing alot of crying in the other rooms. Then finally the group of 4 started receiveing their babies. They were all less than a year old and some were Ok, some were crying. So we sat patiently, until our princess came strutting in without a tear! She was taking it all in and she was mainly just concerned about the other crying babies. She let CJ and both hold her-it was WONDERFUL! We had dreamed of that moment for a long time and it was everything we had hoped for. She is truly meant to be our daughter :)
After a while she finally started to cry huge tears and that was when my heart was breaking for her. You could tell that she was very very sad and just wanted her foster mother. Well she has pretty much cried and cried for her foster mom ever since then. She would calm down when we would walk around outside some, but she just goes from being very sad and screaming to just tolerating us and looking around. Oh and she came with 2 very heavy sets of clothing on her and of course she did not want us to touch her clothes to take them off, so we left them on. However, I did put a diaper on her as she did not have one on and she had already wet down into her socks. She also came with 2 plastic bags with some toys and a couple of snacks inside. She clings to the bags for dear life! She will not let go of them at all and she does not like the boys to touch them either. I don't blame her as that is all she has that she knows is hers.
We were all so emotionally and physically wiped out that the boys fell asleep at 8PM and I just held her until she finally fell asleep around 10PM. I went to sleep as well. She is semi-sleeping right now, tossing and turning but not crying (improvement!). We did change her clothes once she fell asleep and she is as tiny as Frannie and Ally as expected. She fits perfectly in a size 3 diaper and the 12 month clothes I brought. When she woke up and saw her clothes changed she freaked out so I gave her her jacket back and put it back on. She is waking up crying again, so got to go.
20 comments:
I know that has to be so trying on all of you. I pray each sleep time will be easier for her and you all. Who brought her to you? She looks so sweet. I bet My son slept this time after not sleeping so well the night before. How are you doing? are you sleeping? I love You and will send more prayers . Mom
BLESS HER HEART!! It makes me cry to think of the confusion she must be faced with. May God wrap his arms around you all and give ya'll security and comfort. I can't imagine what the foster family is feeling right now. Rhonda
Ally gathered up all of her things that she had brought with her from the orphanage and hid them in the corner. She would wear the clothes we brought her but, she would want to wear her old shoes. I know its hard but this is perfectly normal. Thanks for posting. I know it is difficult as I am sure you are tired but we all appreciate it. Doug- Lucy's husband.
SHe will be a "new girl" in a week or so. Hang in there. Like you said, you are prepared, but it's hard to see! Being 2 has to be so much harder than a "baby" - and you can't really explain anything. Just love her and hold her and give her space when she needs it. It does get easier!
Thank you for being so real for us. It is everything we need to know. I had heard how important it was to leave their clothes on for security. Sarah Beth is in foster care as well so this helps prepare us for the loss she will feel for her foster mother. We are praying God will give Shelby a peace in her heart and a knowing she is safe and loved!
I remember - Michelle did not take off her dress for the first 12 hours and her shoes remained on her feet for 3 days -except during her first bath and then they went right back on her feet. All of what she is experiencing shows that she had a healthy and good attachment to her foster mom- I know God will help her transfer all of that love to you all. She is reacting very similar to Michelle - It took about 3 days before the crying slowed down to just one to two times per day. The first plane ride was a little rough so be prepared for more tears. By the ride home- she was a trouper.
You are all doing great. I am wrapping you up in prayer and I know God is embracing you all right now. I know how hard it is. Your heart breaks for them- It looks like she is getting a lot of comfort from you - and that is great for both of you.
God grant you, your family, and new baby girl Shelby abundant love, joy, and Peace.
Liz and Michelle Caixing
Those tears that Shelby are shedding are definitely the ones that just break your heart. But remember, she needs to grieve in order to heal and then attach to you all. You are doing a fantastic job. Hang tough, keep your energy up, and she'll be smiling soon! Lots of prayers heading your way - especially from our littlest one who is now screaming - Shelby home, Shelby home - over and over again! Hugs and kisses to all.
We both have tears in our eyes as we read this. Hang in there guys--hang in there! You are in our thoughts, prayers, and hearts!!! Donna-there isn't anything that you haven't anticipated--you've been well prepared through all of your research. You sound like you have a grip on it all. We know all of those efforts were because you love your daughter and your family! What can possibly go wrong with any of that?? We pray that Shelby feels the love, unconditional acceptance, and security that her new family has for her. And, we pray for your continued patience and strength. We'll continue to lift you all up with prayer.
Oh Donna and CJ, how emotional. I never thought I could get so emotional reading someone else's blog, but I know your hurt for her, I know! Poor little kid. She will come around quicker than you think! Remember what Lucy told me that helped so much -- every day will get better and better. It hurts to see them sad, but you know, just like giving them a shot, how this is just temporary and so much better for her -- she is so loved! Peace and God bless, Ellen
Our thoughts, love and prayers are with you all during this happiest and most dificult time!
Hey Guys! Hang in there! Y'all are in my thoughts and prayers daily! This too shall pass!!! Cling tight to the Father's hand! xoxox
Megan
Hey Donna - me again! I just think it is precious to see how she was "gussied" up to meet her new parents. That shows that her FM had a lot of pride in how Shelby was presented (or was she "prepped" by the orphanage?). EIther way, I love that she was dressed up. Enjoy your time, even though it is hard, for each day you will notice the LITTLE things that she will show you as she gets to know you and your 3 boys!
She is so gorgeous! My heart aches for you all knowing the confusion of such a rejoicing moment yet such a sad one. How are the boys dealing with a crying baby? Is it hard for them to understand why she is so upset? I'm sure you prepared them, but now that it's a reality, how are they doing with the conflicting emotions?Even more prayers & love coming your way. Uncle Jessie can't wait to get home to see the pics
Love
Leslie
SO glad to read this! Praying tonight for Shelby and her family.
May God continue to bind her heart with yours and give her peace through this transition. We are praying for you and excited to see you all safely home!
Hi everyone, i'm at such a loss of words right now. Wow! My niece is so beautiful. I love the picture of the entire family, you guys are a family with a daughter wow it's awesome. having four daughters of my own i know the joy they bring to your life. i can't wait for you to experience the love and laughter that lies ahead for all off you, just hang in there. Our family will pray for your family tonight and every night till you arrive back home safe and sound. I love all you! Love, Uncle Jessie
I still can't believe that you are holding Shelby!!! I love the picture of you and Shelby and she is laying her head on your shoulder and you are kissing her head. That is a very sweet picture. We are headed out to Alex's first basketball practice.
P.S. Ashlee laughed at the comment from Travis and says she is very excited for his to bring her over when the time is right.
Hello
We are thinking about you all !!
I am glad to see you all together finally. See you soon-
Bruce, Lori, Paige & Tyler
Please tell the boys hello for us!
DeaR straight family this is austin taylor hope your having a great time, i bet you cant wait to you get your daughter tommorow and i cant wait to you get home to see shelby.
love,
austin taylor
Wow this sounds so much like my experience with my daughter in May. She would not let me change her clothes for two days. Once she did, she still had to have her shoes on all the time. And she carried the backpack I brought for her everywhere, including the bathroom. We are praying for an easy transition for all of you.
Bev
www.angelcomehome.blogspot.com
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