Evening Recap

After the long day yesterday out and about, we came back to the hotel and started packing. Shelby was fine playing with the boys and even going to the living room while I was in the bedroom. After about an hour of packing, we decided we should all take a nap, so Shelby and I did-the boys did not fall asleep. Eventually CJ took the boys down swimming so we could nap. It seems that I have a sinus infection and I was feeling pretty miserable by the afternoon. I started on my antibiotics, so hopefully I can knock this thing out before it gets any worse. My nose is pouring, and I have that crazy feeling like I have to sneeze all the time. Oh well, at least we finally found my antibiotics in the last suitcase!

After the nap, Shelby woke up in a bad mood and wanted to leave the hotel room again. She kept wanting to go outside and get in any van she saw. The poor kid thinks that we can get in a van to go back to Ahmu I'm sure. I tell her now that Ahmu is gone and shake my head no now. Where before we should would call for her, I would not tell her anything. Before she just figured that I did not know what she was saying. She now knows that I know who Ahmu is and she understands when I shake my head no because it makes her sad and mad.

She is grieving, and I really think it is a good thing for her to be grieving so early into this. CJ doesn't know what to do during one of her episodes as he always wants to "fix" things. I keep explaining to him that this is nothing we can fix! We just need to love on her and tell her that we will always be here for her. I just hold her and let her cry and thrash around missing her Ahmu. She will throw a fit and then reach for me, I hold her and then she pulls back away. We do this over and over again until she finally just comes to me and is limp. I know this sounds really really bad when I print it in text, but it is all very normal behavior for this situation. I am glad that she will let me help her through this very emotional time in her life.

So we walked some more last night since it was our last night in Nanning. I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness about taking her away from everything she has ever known, her heritage, her people, her culture. I know that she was meant to be my daughter, but it is still tough to take her away from this. Especially when all I have been surrounded by in Nanning is this plush 5 star hotel life and all the glamour that surrounds it. I realize this is not the life she has been living, and I wish I could have seen more of where she has lived for 2 years. I also have wondered alot about her birth mother while we have been here. I see some of the women who stare us down as we walk by and wonder if they think Shelby might be "theirs".

So we are on to Guangzhou today and leave for the airport at 10:30AM. Our flight lands at 1:45PM today. So we are off to another city for another week. I am certainly not crazy about hotel life even if it is in a 5 star! Shelby slept wonderfully last night. As you can see, I am the one who still doesn't sleep :) She is actually still asleep, so I am going to go sneek in a shower before she wakes up. Enjoy some of these pics from Nanning.