Not Pregnant

I went to the Mt. Paran Consignment Sale last night and it was a great sale. I finally was able to get my sit and stand stroller that I have been looking for for only $25-DEAL! I could have probably shopped for an hour or two since they had so much stuff, but I only went for the stroller and didn't need to hang out with all the pregnant women any longer than necessary ;)

You see the reason I was at the sale early is because it was open in this advanced time frame for pregnant women. The advertisement was nice enough to also include "or adopting mothers" in their preview offer. So this is why I was able to get in as I am classified "adopting". This was the first time I think that I was really bothered by the fact that I am not pregnant. Now don't get me wrong, as I have no desire to go back to being all fat and pregnant again (as you can see from the pic ;). But I do miss the physical anticipation that everyone around you knows that you have a child on the way. When I was pregnant, I was asked just about everyday the infamous "When are you due?". Other women (and even some men) would inquire about how it was going, how I was feeling, is it boy or a girl, what am I doing to prepare, etc. This was the nice part about being pregnant. Everyone around you was able to share in the excitement of having a child. Well-you don't get that when you are adopting :(

So I suppose that is what had me a little sad last night thinking about Shelby. This wait is getting harder and harder. I guess this is a little like being pregnant considering that you usually hear first time pregnant women complaining about being sick and all that just in the first trimester. Well the experienced moms always think in the back of their mind (Honey, if you think this is bad, just wait until the last trimester!). Well some of us only think it-others say it out loud ;) So I guess I am finally in my last trimester of the wait for Shelby. It is getting very hard to be patient. I want to go get my daughter NOW. I told CJ last night that I want her now. He was quick to remind me that God is taking care of her while we cannot be with her. That was something I needed to hear right at that moment. God is taking care of her while we are not with her and I must trust that He will watch over her and keep her safe. I sooooo want to be with her right now. This last trimester is going to be one of the hardest "pregnancies" EVER!

"May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight. And let the angels bring you the kisses that I send to you each night. " --Unknown