It's tough to be a mom

Well today was really really tough for us both this morning. My intent was to take Shelby to her regular sitter today after dropping off Caleb at school. Well since Miss Shelby was spoiled rotten yesterday at her Nana's house, things didn't go well at all. I told Shelby that we were going to Carol's and she went into a complete meltdown crying and crying...Nanwa, Nanwa, Nanwa, Nanwa over and over again. Well I just couldn't handle it, and I turned around and took her right back to her Nanwa's house for the day.

Realizing how much she enjoys her Nana and how much she enjoys structure, I made the decision to put Shelby in a preschool 3 days a week where her Nana will be able to pick her up and spend the afternoons with her. So tomorrow we are going to her new school to check it out and show her where she is going to be going to school next week. So next week she will be going to school 3 days for half the day and then Nana will get her the rest of those days. She will still be going to Carol's house for the other 2 days and she will eventually get used to that. Carol is good to my kids and besides Shelby gets to be with her brother on those days she is at Carol's once he is out of school. Now dropping her off at Carol's house is another story.

This has got to get easier for both of us. Now it isn't like I am a first time mom and never been down this road before. I have already done this twice, and it was difficult for both of my boys, but I survived and so did they. So I have faith that all of this is going to get better, but right now it is TOUGH! I do know that I miss her terribly all day and that apparently she misses me. So I realize that on the attachment issues, that is probably a good thing. However on the heartbreaking issue, it is really bad. And now I am going to add the preschool element on top of all of her adjustments, and I am nervous about that too. I believe I am doing the right thing though by giving her some structured learning/play time with a preschool setting. She does enjoy playing with others too (once she gets to know them), so I feel like she will have fun at school once she is used to it.

So as you can see, Shelby and I are really struggling with letting go of each other during the day. I really really hope things get better SOON. I know they will eventually get better and strongly feel like I am giving her the best opportunities to thrive while I am away at work. My heart still breaks for her when I have to leave her crying though. So here's hoping for an easy transition next week into her new school and her full 2 days at Carol's house. Heaven knows all of this has to make us stronger. I certainly know that it makes for tighter hugs and sweeter kisses when I pick all my babies up in the evenings :)