Apparently I have made a HUGE mistake this time around (yeah you would think I would have it figured out by now) in regards to Elise's attachment. I got lazy and comfortable, and well I have done a disservice to my little girl. You see since we have been home, I haven't stepped up to the plate and told everyone "Hands Off" my baby girl. With Shelby and Faith, I was pretty straight forward and was quick to intercept anyone who even looked like they were going to pick them up. I guess this time I was just hoping that all the science and research was wrong. Nope, I was wrong!
Elise has yet to form any real preference to me and CJ, much less any real beginnings of attachment. Elise just likes to go and move on to do different things, so it "appears" she is happy to see us-but only because she knows she will get to go somewhere else or do something different than what she is currently doing. Honestly, you could walk into my living room and she would smile at you, then if you walked to her and held your arms out...she would happily go home with YOU too! NOT GOOD
So we will now be asking YOU (yes, I am talking to you) to please respect us on this one, and don't touch the baby. I will let you know when you can in a few months, once her attachment to me and CJ is secured. The only exceptions to this rule will have to be Elise's 2 caregivers (my mom and Carol), but other than that the only people who will be allowed to touch the baby will have to be me and CJ. Please respect our decisions on this, as I have done a lot of reading and education on the subject (but unfortunately haven't been practicing it) and I believe it is for the best. So for now please...Look but Don't Touch :)
Elise has yet to form any real preference to me and CJ, much less any real beginnings of attachment. Elise just likes to go and move on to do different things, so it "appears" she is happy to see us-but only because she knows she will get to go somewhere else or do something different than what she is currently doing. Honestly, you could walk into my living room and she would smile at you, then if you walked to her and held your arms out...she would happily go home with YOU too! NOT GOOD
4 comments:
I totally get it and we are still working on this. :)
Blessings!!!
Sofia has made HUGE strides after months of this exact same technique. We had a lady over for a few hours on Saturday, and she barely acknowledged her... I almost cried with JOY! So it works, and it will happen for Elise.
Way to go Mom for recognizing the signs!
OH - I have already told my husband that when we go to yor house I am just going to have to sit on my hands! I have been doing my reading and research and trying to explain this to our friends and family...of course they think I have lost my mind...but of course - I really don't care! I wonder if they make little t-shirts that say "Yes I am gorgeous & NO you can't pick me up..move along folks!
Good move, Donna. I'm thinking by this point you just might know what you're talking about :) Good luck with it, hopefully your friends will all understand.
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