Well I do believe that the honeymoon period is officially over. Part of the honeymoon period that I had never really thought about until now, was how each person's attitudes change-not necessarily their actions. You know how like when you first get married, one might think it is just so cute how your husband accidentally leaves the cap off the toothpaste every day. Then after a month of marriage, you think you are going to accidentally sling that open toothpaste tube upside his head ;) Yeah, you get the picture. It wasn't that your husband changed his actions, but that YOUR attitude has changed towards those actions. This apparently is the same for the honeymoon period in adoption.
Some of those little things that Ian does regularly used to not bother us so much. Oh and when I say "we", I mean that the kids are really now on a short fuse with Ian. We thought it was neat that he wanted us to watch him learn how to play a new game on the ipod. Or call us by name 101 times every hour to see what he was doing. Even when he was eating, it was fun to watch him eat things so quickly and crazy. We never knew which way his clothes were going to turn out, most of the time he would put them on backwards. It was great how he wanted to be with me or the kids all.the.time right next to us seeing what we are doing every minute of the day. Well now...not so much.
As much as I would love to just simply ignore some of his behaviour, or turn the other cheek, or only choose the big battles, or just let him get away with things, I can't. I am responsible for teaching him how to behave and act properly here in the US. I only have about one more month to get him ready to go to public school. I know the kids at his school are not going to appreciate any of the Ianisms that he still does. So for now, it is my job to be the mean mom. That's OK. I know from my past mommy experiences...this too shall pass.
4 comments:
Keeping you in my prayers. Thanks for keeping it real.
I'm praying for you all too! it is SO tiring and 24/7. Hang in there, you are right! this too shall pass! :) XO
Hang tough, Girl! You can do it. As a wise woman once said to me, "it's time to put on your big girl panties!". Wonder who that could have been... ;)
I'm reading an AWeSOME book called Beyond Logic, Consequences and Control: A Love Based Approach to Helping Children with Severe Behaviors. (Forbes). I know his behaviors may not be "severe", but it is an amazing approach to understanding our kiddo's history. We have found ourselves asking Lucas more and more "What are you afraid of?" Basically, all behavior falls into 2 categories "Love" and "fear". The Fear based ones can be anything from annoying stuff to more profoundly "ugly" stuff. Also, I know you know this already, but the language barrier is bigger and takes a lot longer to get through than you expect because they "Appear" to know what you are doing and talking about. We have found Lucas has turned some major corners post 1 year. Even though it seemed he grasped everything so rapidly with his language. He really has relaxed more over the past 6 months or so. Just a few thoughts.
And yes you do need to be consistent that is importatnt!
He is an awesome little boy. And sometimes if you are like me, I need to be remided where he would be ...if...oh ya...that's right...puts things in perspective.
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