Not Another One?!

After reading this recent post, I thought I would go ahead and share some of my personal gossip stuff with the blogworld too...

As some of you already know, we have been "reviewing" a file of an adorable little 4 year old boy.  He caught my eye about 4 weeks ago actually.  When I first saw his face, I was instantly smitten with his smile.  Then once I saw his file and his birthdate, I was almost breathless 9-11.  Yes, another 9-11 baby!  He was given the exact same birthdate as our Shelby.  So my heart began to talk to my head and well ya know...

I did more digging, and started getting more info about this little one.  We did a whole LOT of praying, and as Nicole said earlier, God was still and quiet.  For 4 very long weeks.  But this week, our answer came, and it was no-he is not ours. (Mom and Dad you can breathe now)

Even though it turns out this little guy is NOT ours.  I just wanted to address some of the comments and issues that have come up as we were going through this process of possibly adding another one to our family.

From our friends that have adopted children:

"Wow, congratulations for hearing the call again", "How exciting", "I knew you would go back again", "Five, really five", "You go girl", "More power to you", "I would love to go back again too",  "Have you done your research", " You know 5 year old boys can come with issues", "I have no doubt you can do it", "Let me know if I can help you in any way", "Don't worry about what others say, last time I checked you don't really care what other people think", "I will be praying for you and your family", "If He leads you to it, He will bring you through it"

From others who have not adopted before:

"Can you afford it", "Are you crazy", "Does CJ know about this", "Something must be wrong with you", "What are you trying to fix in your life", "No one needs five kids", "Not another one", "Five is too many", "That is just stupid", "It is not fair to your current children", "Can you afford to put another one through college", "I think you just enjoy the hunt, the paperwork", "You are just obsessed with adoption", "You just need to find some other new hobby"

I suppose you picked up on a common theme here.  If you have not been personally affected by adoption, then it appears that you don't get "IT".  The IT being that adoption is about love and loss.  Love that you give a child, love that your child eventually is able to give you, love that made a difference in someone's life, love that I have in my heart to give to another child, the love for all my children, love that God shows us all by adopting us into His family, and the love that EVERYONE deserves and craves throughout their lifetime.  Loss of a family, loss of love, loss of someone to pick you up and you kisses when you have a bad dream, loss of your birth mother, loss of laughter, loss of someone to love, loss of security, loss of a future, loss of dreams, and the loss of knowing what love really is about.

So in closing, I just want to clarify that fortunately my husband and I only answer to ONE person.  We "play" to an audience of one.  IF we do ever decide to bring another little one into our family, then I hope that you will support us in our decision, because it will be just that...OUR decision.  Our decision that we will truly believe is the right decision that our one and only God wants us to make.  Oh and if at that time you don't "agree" with our decision, don't worry because obviously you won't be the only one ;)