Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Change

No not the kind you find in your pocket, the kind that life brings you...change. Well for most children change is not usually a big deal. If you have children that you have raised since birth, change is just part of life and most kids just go with the flow. Well if you have children that are adopted, that one little word "change" means oh so much more. Change has come to be a part of their life, but it has not always been a welcome change.

My Shelby has some BIG issues with change. In her life she has experienced some very dramatic change. She was with her birth mom for only 2 weeks, then change. She lived inside an orphanage for 2 months, then change. She lived with her foster mom for 2 years, then change. Then changed to 2 different hotel stays, changed to 2 different airplanes, then finally her home was forever changed!
So as you can see, not all of Shelby's change has been good change. This is why my little one is SO scared of change. Shelby asks me everyday, literally about 10 times everyday, "What are we doing tomorrow?" She wants to be fully prepared for what the next day will bring. So I tell her everyday (about 10 different times) the schedule for the next day. We always end the day with a complete run down of the next day's schedule. This is what Shelby still needs everyday even though she has been home for 19 months now. I hope and pray that she will one day NOT fear change; however, I don't know after all that she has been through how change will ever come easy to her :(
I suppose one of the most memorable changes for Shelby is apparent to her when she simply looks in the mirror. She has seen alot of pictures of her as a baby and she is very much aware that her lip is different than others. It has to be a reminder to her everyday that things have changed in her life. Obviously some of her changes have been good, but not all of them. I hope to continue to help Shelby change the way she sees "change". I hope one day she will embrace change as just a regular part of life, although I do realize that my sweet baby girl isn't just a regular kind of kid :)

3 comments:

Renate said...

oh, sweet girl. Lets hope for only good changes.

Granny on the web said...

As she grows older, her confidence which is fragile now will gradually grow too. She is still constantly subconsciously afraid that this security will disappear. Constant, repetitive reassurance is required... and patience from the ones around her. I am sure in you, her parents, she will get this, and she will blossom into a fine young woman one day.
God's Grace be with you.

Love Granny

Sally- That Girl! said...

Great post and such an observant mommy! Often times, I feel like people want us to just forget about our kids pasts and with love move on. It is not that easy as their little pasts have left indelible marks on their lives. It is something we all work with on a daily basis with our sweeties through adoption.