Before and After Shots

I was finally able to get some shots of Shelby's mouth this morning. As you can see she has a hole in the center but of course it is no where near the size of her "hole" before the surgery. We are off to the doctor this afternoon to see what he has to say about it. We had another good night of sleep-yeah for sleep!

Oh and happy happy birthday to my dear old dad! Oops I said old, I meant ole dad ;) My dad is certainly one of a kind. Here is a picture of him and his new motor for his canoe. Yes, I said canoe. And yes this is the motor with a trailer hitch on it, strapped to his Jeep. Remember I said my dad was one of kind, so I can't imagine having a better father :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!

Whole update on the hole

Yes, I discovered a small hole in her mouth on Friday afternoon. It is towards the back of her palate. On Saturday it looked to be getting bigger and bigger. However, yesterday it wasn't quite as large. It is about the size of the diameter of an ink pen. Of course I am dissappointed, but it is not unexpected considering the size of her cleft to begin with. As long as we can keep it just a hole and not a complete tear, I will be happy. We have an appointment with the dr tomorrow afternoon, so I will let you know then what he says about it. Thank you for all the kind words and letting us know you are all praying for my little one.

Shelby and I got back to the attachment basics yesterday, and I put her back in the pouch (Ergo baby carrier). We walked to the ice cream store in the pouch, around the block in the pouch, and played outside in the pouch. She really liked it and I was glad she was allowing me to be close to her again. I think it helped since she had the best sleeping night yet since the surgery-yeah! She even went to sleep without a fight or not even one hit or scratch or push :) One day at a time, and I know this too shall pass.

Unfortunately we have a ...

hole :(

Thankful

I did steal this from another blog, but it is so true for me and my life!

I'm thankful for our messy house because it means we have more than enough of everything!! The dishes in the sink are proof that our stomachs are full. The never ending laundry reminds me that we all have plenty to wear. And the crumbs needing to be swept off the floor are evidence that we are healthy enough to dash in and out of the house. The toy trail is delightful proof that this house is blessed with a 2, 5 & 8 year old!

I am only working half day and heading out to the other side of town for 3rd Friday. I also have a playdate with my digit friends this afternoon. Looking forward to a fun start to the weekend!

Progress Update

Well my little one is starting to feel better each and every day. Last night we had alot of smiles as she played with Caleb and her cousin Austin. We went to dinner and she ate alot again so that is a good thing.

Oh by the way, the other day she managed to get cheese stuck in her stitches in the very center of her palate that the doctor said would eventually "work its way out". We had given her a soft cheese stick for her school snack. So after that ordeal we were at KFC the other night and again feeding her "soft" foods, and she managed to wedge a glob of mashed potatoes and mac n cheese in the whole front part of her palate like a flat pancake of gunk up there that would not come out. I called all of my resource friends like Amy and Tina and Kathy to get their suggestions of how to get it out. Well after giving her alot to drink over and over again it was still in there. I even tried using that rubber syringe thing from the hospital to shoot water on it and nothing. So I just let her go to bed with it in there. She obviously picked at it with her tongue at night because half of it was gone by morning. I took her the next morning for breakfast where she ate a whole biscuit w/jelly and by the time that was down her everything was finally off her palate-whew! So now I see why the more liquid diet the better. I just don't know how you all do a straight liquid diet as she won't eat anything that is just plain liquids. So please keep praying that her palate will stay closed with all of these eating mishaps.

As far as Shelby's attachment issues with me we seem to be at least past the "angry" phase. That is definitely a good thing. We still aren't back to the trust level we used to be but each day I see some progress in this area. Last night for the first time in about 3 months, she actually cried for her Ahmu in China. It was so sad and it caught me by surprise. When we went to her bed she was just whining and whining but it was a different kind of whine. I kept asking her what was wrong or what did she want and she finally said Ahmu-heartbreaking. I held her and told her that her Ahmu missed her too and loved her very much. She eventually stopped crying and faded off to sleep without anger just sadness. I was really surprised but it makes perfect sense looking from the outside that she would go through this again. It is just really hard to watch your little one's heart ache for something that you can not give her :(

Little Talker

Shelby had a good day yesterday-yeah! She went back to school and to her Nana's house and did great. We only had a couple of meltdowns last night, but nothing like we had been having. Once thing my little one is doing these days is talking more and more. She said her first "big" sentence over the last few days. She has been putting only 2 words together, but now she is saying more. So what was her first sentence...

"I don't want to!"

And believe me she has said it plenty over the last few days ;) It really cracks me up though because she says each word distinctively and seperately to make the complete statement. Her other favorite phrase is "Who's that?" which she says every time I get off the phone-too funny. I can already tell a difference in her voice since her surgery. She doesn't seem to be quite as nasally when she talks now. You can really tell it when she says hello. It used to be Hewoooo, but now it comes out more like a real Helllllo. She gets to practice this one every time she talks on the phone, which is alot :)

Oh the Joy of S...

LEEP! We had a much better night last night so I will count that as progress-yeah! We took the kids to the aquarium yesterday to get out and about and keep everyone entertained. I also wanted to give the boys something to talk about at school that they could report on about what they did over spring break. I was afraid they would go back and just say they had to listen to their sister cry all week :( Anyway we had a good time and picked a good day to go crowd wise. I even got a smile or two out of my little one. She has such a sweet smile that I have been missing terribly all week. I can't wait until she is back to "normal" and laughing and giggly again. I am praying that each day we see a little progress. Thanks for all the support and tips and reassurance that if we were able to get her to trust us before, then we will earn her trust back again. I will go with my mantra of This too Shall Pass. Isn't she just the cutest thing when she is smiling and happy??!

Terrible Evening

Unfortunately the evening didn't get any better last night and actually took a turn for the worst. Here is a post I just posted on my boards to try to see if anyone else has experienced what we are going through with Shelby:

I have been a lurker on this board for over a year learning ALOT of great information. My daughter had palate surgery on Monday and I have a couple of questions regarding your child's attitude/bonding/attachment issues after surgery. My daughter has completely "turned" on me since the surgery. She acts just like she did while we were in China pushing me away, pinching, pushing, kicking, etc. Mainly she does this at night time trying to go to sleep. It is just the same in the sense that one minute she pushes me away, then the next she wants me to hold her close. We seem to be going through our beginning bonding/attachment phase all over again and we have been home for 5 months now. She was very upset at the hospital and felt completely betrayed by our trust in allowing this to happen to her- it was heartbreaking to watch. Have any of your children experienced this same type of behavior?

Hopefully I will get some answers soon. Shelby fought from 10-12PM last night before finally giving up and falling asleep. She was then back awake at 4AM and screamed and fought HARD for 3 straight hours. I would just lay there and let her throw her fit just not allowing her to really hurt me. I have tried holding her too which really makes her mad. I am sad that all of our hard work at bonding seems to be completely gone :( I am taking her off of her prescription meds today to see if maybe that is messing with her head. We are going to try just Tylen0l for the pain to see if that can keep the pain under control without the Hydroc0d0ne. If you have any words of wisdom, I am all ears!

One day at a time

Well we are definately getting more sleep each and every day. Last night she even slept for a 6 hour interval-yeah! The night before it was about 4 hours but that is still good since I can give her meds when she wakes up. Shelby is pretty good as long as we are out and about keeping her mind off the pain. We stayed in a little too long this morning and also she fell and hit the back of her head on the corner of the dishwasher. So needless to say all that combined didn't make for such a great day. We got home around 5PM tonight but she cried constantly until I about had a nervous breakdown, so we left around 8PM for ice cream. By this time she was fully medicated so she ate her whole ice cream and then we came home and she insisted on pizza. So CJ let her eat some tiny pieces of pizza while I "clocked out" and sat in the chair and vegged out the rest of the evening. I was spent and couldn't do anymore today, so my man had to take over. He did a great job and now we are about to do our regular night time routine. So I am hoping for a restful evening of sleep for all of us. Heaven knows I need a recharge!

Pics from the week

Here are some pics from the week. The first set is from our weekend before surgery where my little one enjoyed her favorite chips and dip at Mexican. She won't be able to have those for a long time so we had them for lunch and dinner!

Then next is a group of hospital shots before and after surgery.

Then we have some recovery shots from home. And then finally some before and after of her mouth. I know these after shots aren't very good so I will still try to get some better ones.

Hospital Details

Well let's see where to start...I will just start from the beginning entering the hospital at 7:30am on Monday morning. We arrived at the check in point where Shelby was still kind of sleepy since she slept all the way to the hospital. Once there we had a surprise visit from the youth pastor at our church! That was very thoughtful of him to come all the way down there to support us and pray some extra prayers over us before going back for surgery. So it wasn't long and we went back to prep for surgery. I have some pics of Shelby on her the Versed (drunk medicine) before going back. These are the pics of her sticking her tongue out at the camera acting silly. They rolled her back awake but she was so out of it, that she didn't care at that point. It was tough watching her go back.

Well it wasn't but about 20 minutes and the ENT came back in to tell us that the ear tube surgery went fine but that she did have alot of fluid in both ears and a bad ear infection in her right ear. That is the ear that doesn't have much hearing at all in it so she probably is so used to the infections that she doesn't even complain anymore. So now the tubes are in and we hope that will help her hearing and the infections.

So then we waited on pins and needles, but it was only about an hour and half longer and the surgeon called to say that everything went well and he was done and her palate was closed. He said that she had alot of tissue to use so he is hopeful it will stick. He also said that it went well but that Shelby sure didn't like him right now. I asked to see her asap but he said I would have to wait until they brought her down from recovery. They then gave us a room number and went quickly to get there. We waited about 10 minutes and they told us she was on her way. The nurse also said "I hear she has a temper!". Well-yes that is why I wanted to see her asap. She came in the room not happy at all but she did let me hold her and comfort her the best I could at that time.

The first thing she was mad about were the no-nos on her arms. She was thrashing around and pulling and pulling on them to get them off. I asked the nurses if I could remove them and they agreed that I could. So that gave her a little bit of relief; however, she still wasn't happy that the IV splint was on her and that we would not allow her to touch it or take it off. Once she realized that we were not going to waiver on that, she stopped trying to rip it off her hand. So we sat together with her throwing herself around and pinching and scratching and just basically trying to run from the pain and hurt. At this point she was getting morphine through her IV for pain. My dad and Sandy came to the hospital, but Shelby was so mad she didn't really even acknowledge their existence. I really don't know how long she screamed at that point but it was probably a couple of hours and then she went to sleep for about 10-20 minutes or so here and there.

We were doing the morphine in half doses so that she could get some every hour. That really didn't seem to be working to cut the pain so we then went with the full doses every hour and half to 2 hours to how ever close I could talk them into giving it to her. The nurse kept telling me that the meds by mouth usually work better so we then tried the first dose of Tylenol with Codeine. Well that was a big fat mistake. She went completely nuts on that stuff about 30 minutes after giving it to her. She was completely incoherent and out of her head and really hard to even keep her from hurting herself. It was awful to see her out of her mind. Unfortunately the boys came up to the hospital about this time and that did not go well at all for them to see her like that. She screamed at them and did not even want them to look at her or even come into her room. So CJ went ahead and left to take them home and he stayed at home all night with them. So now I was alone with my baby.

Next our wonderful new nurse Amy came on board. She of course was as helpful as could be and she soon realized like I did that we needed to do something different with medicating Shelby. Amy put in a call to our dr to get a new order on some new drugs. She was able to get approval for Hydrocodone and she was smart enough to ask for Benadryl as well to hopefully help Shelby sleep. Not many 2 years olds that I know can stay awake crying and going balistic for 18 hours straight?!

Speaking of acting crazy, this was about the time that Shelby completely turned on me. Talk about some parent rejection. Shelby was livid with me and I could tell that she felt absolutely and completely BETRAYED by her mommy. It was devastating for me. I am sure that my tired level didn't help, but I lost it as well watching my little girl so mad at me. She told me that I was not her mommy and that mommy didn't love her or anyone else for that matter. She insisted that I leave her bed and really even wanted me to leave her room. She pinched, kicked, bit, slapped, scratched, and anything else she could manage to do if I got within reaching distance. She was ANGRY! This wasn't just physical pain that she was expressing, it was also a very real emotional pain. Poor Amy got a crash course in the "parent rejection" part of adoption. I don't think she will be surprised in China if her little one does this to her. Nothing like a LIVE example to learn from. Well needless to say it was a tough tough night and Shelby finally responded to some pain relief from the Hydrocodone. We backed that up with Benadryl and finally my little girl gave up the fight and fell asleep at 6AM. Fortunately I was able to sneak into bed with her and she and I slept until 9AM.

The doctor made his rounds that morning to see if Shelby had eaten or drank enough to release us from our one night stay. Well Shelby had had a whole lot of NOTHING by that point so we were obviously in for another night courtesy of the hospital. Fortunately CJ was able to rejoin us at the hospital that day as I told him that I was spent and had to have some relief. I would strongly recommend that if you are about to experience surgery like this with your little one that if at all possible you have 2 people their at all times. It was very difficult to do everything on my own without assistance to do even the simple things like go to the bathroom! So try to have some help 24/7 if you can. Well our day got a little better one hour at a time. Shelby would of course still have frequent meltdowns, but at least she didn't hate me ALL the time. She started to drink a little bit and she was really hungry so she would try some different things but would taste something and then point to her mouth and tell me it hurt. We finally got her to drink alot of a Yoo-hoo so we decided that only one more night at the hospital would be required.

CJ went home the second night again, but Shelby and I did much better and I was able to sleep a little bit more. My mom and dad came to pick us up on Wednesday morning and we were free to go home with of course our meds in hand. Things have really picked up in the recovery area since we have been home. I decided today that we would do better out and about and AWAY from the kitchen. When we are home she stays in the kitchen alot and asks for things because she is hungry, but once she tries stuff she complains of the pain. Tonight she actually ate the most she has had since surgery and it was mac and cheese blender style. She has drank alot of the yogurt things today too so that is good. We went to the beach today and she played in the sand since that is one of her favorite things to do. Overall we had a good day today and I am hopeful tomorrow will be even better.

So that is our story in a nutshell as I promised. Thanks again for all the well wishes. It is awesome to know that we have such a great support system surrounding us.

The joy of sleep

Sleep seems to be coming back into our lives a little bit more and it seems to make a big difference. Shelby took a long nap yesterday from 4-7:30Pm. Yeah! Too bad she slept in my lap the whole time or I could have actually accomplished something, but oh well whatever works for now is what we are doing. She slept in about 4 hour intervals last night which was VERY nice since she could get more meds every time she woke up. So the good news is that she is feeling better today and we are going to venture outside the house so that we can keep her mind off the pain. As you see sleep won over blogging last night but I thought I would give everyone a quick update. She doesn't want to drink very much but she has eaten a little bit of ice cream, soup, and yogurt drinks. Oh and the coveted Wahahas that I saved for this occassion were sucked down in record speed. I so wish I had more of these little jewels. Oh well at least she had a couple to help her heal during this time. It is sad to see her try something and then just point to her mouth and cry :(

We are home sweet home

We made it out of the hospital today around 10:30am- yeah! I am busy watching little Miss Fingers-in-the-mouth, so can't post much yet. She is feeling MUCH better today though. Will hopefully get to post the details from the last couple of days tonight. Thank you again for all the well wishes!

Shelby's Recovery

Slow Recovery:

I have just a few spare minutes while Shelby is sleeping. Needless to say this has been a rough road! She still is not eating or drinking and is still very MAD. She was awake all day yesterday until 6AM this morning once we finally got her pain a little bit relieved. She and I slept a total of 3 hours from 6-9AM. We had the best nurse ever who tried everything but my little girl does not go down without a fight. I thought the first few days in China were bad....piece of cake up next to this :( She is really dissappointed in her mommy and daddy whom she trusted to allow something like this to happen to her. It is very hard to watch especially when she is TOTALLY rejected you and not allowing you to comfort 95% of the time. After how far we had come, I am really sad to see that we may have to start over in the trust department. Well of course I will post everything in detail when I get a chance, but just wanted to keep you guys praying for us. We certainly are not out of the tough part yet. I hope for a peek at some relief for her pain soon. She is at least finally napping today and I was able to eat and nap for about an hour as well. Thank you to everyone for checking on us and all the emails and thoughts. Keep praying!

Shelby's Surgery Update

Donna reports that Shelby is recovering well from surgery, but is not too happy! She says that Shelby did fine through the surgery.

It's almost time...

Well this is my last post before our big day tomorrow at CHOA. I feel like we are getting ready for China again. Crazy I know, but I have a lot of the same feeling inside as to when we were about to leave to get my baby. I am of course anxious and scared, but also kind of excited and relieved that the time has come. This surgery is just the first step in getting Shelby on the road to a normal communication path for the rest of her life. Shelby just loves to talk and talk (like her Nana) and she gets very frustrated when you don't understand what she is saying. She cracks me up wanting to talk on the phone all the time and call certain people. Every time I hang up the phone she immediately asks "Who's that?!", too funny! So I can't wait until she can speak clearly on her own where everyone can understand her.

One of the BIG things that Shelby is about to experience is the lost of her "numb numb numbing" (as I call it). This is the sucking motion that she makes with her mouth as her soothing technique. She does her numb numb numbing thing to put herself to sleep as she rubs on her blankets (or dresses as you know). The good part about not having to wear arm restraints all the time will be that hopefully she can get some relief from still being able to rub on her blankets. However, coming from someone who has about 35 years of experience in the sucking-soothing habit, I know that she is really really really going to be upset about the fact that her mouth is going to hurt and it is going to feel completely different when she tries to sooth herself by numb numb numbing. I felt so sad for her tonight as I watched her soothe herself to sleep one last time numb numb numbing away with her mouth :( Hopefully the pain I think she will have about losing this habit won't be near as bad as I think it will be. I can only hope that she finds comfort in using her blankets and of course by leaning on mom to get her through.

I was so emotional today just thinking about tomorrow. Every time someone would come up to me at church and let me know they would be praying for her, my eyes would start watering. I don't know why really since I do feel like she is going to be OK and that this is absolutely the right thing to do. I guess it just got to me all day thinking about all the people that have come to know and love on this little girl in the 5 short months that we have had her. (OH and yes today is her 5 month Gotcha Day anniversary!) I am so thankful for everyone who is praying for my little girl tomorrow. I will ask that you please continue to pray for us and for her speedy recovery. We will get to the hospital tomorrow at 7:30am and her surgery is scheduled for 9:30am. So please please PRAY for her!

The strangest part about her surgery is the weird feeling that I have that this surgery has alot to do with the fact that she is MY child. It is hard to explain, but in a lot of ways I feel like she has to endure this painful surgery because in a lot of ways this is how Shelby became part of my life. Shelby's cleft is what "identified" her for me. God put a call to my heart that I would adopt a child that was cleft affected. He made it perfectly clear to me of how to identify my daughter before I even laid my eyes on her referral picture. I knew that she would have a physical characteristic that I could not deny, and of course as you see she does. So if it weren't for her cleft, I might of "missed" her. I am so thankful that I didn't "miss" her and that God made it possible for us to find each other. So I guess I am just feeling kind of responsible for her having to endure this surgery. I know I know that that is not something I can do anything about, but that is just the way I feel. I would so take her place tomorrow in a heartbeat, but that is not the way it works. So as we move onto tomorrow, I will continue to pray for her and thank God that I can be with her every step of the way on her road to recovery. I can't wait to see her back to her sweet smiling fun loving life self soon. I know my baby will be OK and I am so thankful to have her here at home with her mommy and daddy as she goes through this experience. She also is very blessed to have everyone out there praying for her. I am amazed at how many people have told us they are praying for us and thinking of us as we get ready for tomorrow. So thank you thank you for being a special part in our lives. I wouldn't be able to get through without all of the support we have surrounding us.

I will update whenever I can while we are at the hospital. And don't forget that my blog is based on Straight talk, so that means you get the good, bad, and the UGLY. If you don't want the real stuff then I suggest you not visit for a few days. Hopefully there won't be too much ugly, but I expect there will be some. So stay tuned and please keep praying!

Oh and some of you asked about the pics below. Isn't she just beautiful?!? I was really impressed with the photos since you can do so much with them. They were taken at P0rtrait In0vations. Oh and by the way, we all get plenty of warnings about how tough jet lag is, how bad gotcha day can be, and how bad the first week home is. Well what happen to the warnings about how tough it is to decide which pictures you take home from your first professional photo sitting?!??! Yes, my wallet was taken for a ride yesterday (without warnings) but as you can see she is worth every penny :)

Absolutely Beautiful......

Looking forward to First Friday

Tonight is First Friday and I expect it to be a great evening. Tonight's topics are some tough issues but things all "expecting" parents need to hear. So looking forward to seeing everyone tonight. I am taking Shelby tomorrow to have her pictures professionally made for the first time. I am really hoping I can get a smile out of her for the camera stranger. Maybe I will have some shots for everyone on the blog this weekend. We are laying low this weekend in hopes to keep Shelby well and rested for the big day on Monday. Her surgery time is 9:30am at Scottish Rite. Please continue to pray for a successful surgery for my little one. I just came across another great detailed blog about her daughter's recent palate surgery. You can read it here if you want to get an idea of how we are going to be spending our days at the hospital. Her little girl sounds alot like Shelby and I expect about the same reactions from her. I will try to get some great pics up over the weekend. See ya!

It Takes A Village...

I started thinking the other day about how many people are involved in my everyday life as I know it today. I have been blessed and touched by so many people that it just makes my head spin to think about how many people care enough to be a part of my life and my kids' lives. I don't know how people manage without the "help" of others. My family is truly a testament of the old saying of "It takes a village to raise a child!". Maybe I am just more needy than others, but I have really been "helped" more than I ever thought possible through the last year or so. No matter how big or small the help may be, be sure to know that I truly appreciate all the help I have received and continue to receive everyday!! Here are just a few examples of those "helps" that mean the world to me in just random order as they come to me...

• Bloggers who detail their real life experiences
• My husband who has really handed me the dream on a silver platter
• Adoption friends who answer their cell phone when they really don't have time for another question from a newbie
• Boss who really gets what life is all about
• My sister for our regular 7:30am coversations
• Ms. Chris who really "gets" adopted kids
• Mom who makes a daily difference in our lives
• Lori for being the best friend ever
• Amy who keeps me smiling and offers reassurance in the medical dept and even rearranges her schedule to help my baby girl
• Dad who picks up whenever needed and even delivers to baseball games-on time
• Ellen who lets me live vicariously through her next adoption
• Sandy who remembers every event, holiday, birthday ever
• The Chapman's for opening a whole new world to me
• Nana who makes the best chicken and dumplings
• Joanna who rescues Caleb from ASP on a regular basis
• Blog readers who post comments just to keep me motivated and to know that they are still interested in our lives
• Liz who was there when I really needed her for my mommy meltdown
• Michael who keeps me in line with all things paper intensive or gadget involved
• Ms. Vickie who has really taken Shelby under her wing
• Kim who keeps me entertained on a regular basis
• All of the people who have prayed a special prayer for my family
• Heather who was instrumental in finding my baby girl just by sharing her story
• Gloria who manages to rearrange her schedule every time I need her to
• Scott who is the best baseball coach ever and who does it just because he loves his nephews
• Lucy who was the first to follow extensively to China
• Neighbors who treat my children like their own grandkids daily
• Tina for taking the call from a "stranger" the day I found Shelby and who reassured me that I could do this

I am sure I missed some of you out there who really have an effect on my life. Just please know that I am so happy to have such a great village surrounding my family. I really couldn't do it without you, so THANK YOU!

Baby Dedication

We were finally able to have Shelby's Baby Dedication at the church on Sunday. She was looking too cute all dressed up in her white dress from China. All of the people who love her were there to support us and to see her on this great day. I was very touched that our pastor gave Shelby a letter that is to be opened on the day of her baptism. I can't wait for the day that Travis and Shelby come to ask Jesus to be their Lord and Savior. I was so emotional on the day Caleb accepted Christ and I am looking forward to experiencing that with my other two. It was really a great day all around and we of course enjoyed lunch at none other than... Chinese Buffet! A big thanks to everyone who came out to support my little girl. And a big thanks to everyone who will have a part in her spiritual life long journey with the Lord!!

One week to go

This time next week my little one will be in a lot of pain. Hopefully we will keep it controlled by way of some STRONG drugs. Please pray we get a nurse who believes in the power of narcotics (hint hint Amy)! I am really starting to stress out over the surgery and it still seems surreal that it is finally time to do this. Well it is a good thing I have a busy week planned so I can't worry about it "all" the time.

I have been doing some research of course and wanted to show some pretty graphic- but REAL pics of what Shelby's is about to have done to her mouth. It was explained to me that she will have 3 layers of stitches put into her mouth. One on top between her nose and mouth, then one where the hard palate come together, then another row which will be the ones we will be able to see. She will also have some on the sides of her mouth where they have to cut so they can stretch the tissues across her mouth. Also she will have some stitches on her gum line where they cut around her cleft in the gums to stretch the gums over the hole to encourage tissue growth. Needless to say her mouth is going to HURT. Just think about it when you have a small sore on the inside of your mouth how much that bothers you and hurts. Now imagine what my little one is going to experience. Crazy to just even think about and I am sick to know that she has to endure all of this. I know kids are resilient and get over things quickly, but I still ache over the fact that she will be in a lot of pain. Here are the pics of a little boy before the surgery-which his mouth looks a lot like Shelby's. And then here is the pic of his mouth 2 days after surgery. Gross I know, but REALITY for Shelby next week :( Please pray for her quick healing.

Middle Child Spotlight

My little trooper has been experiencing some of those middle child issues- you know the one where they NEVER get there picture taken regularly. Well fortunately I was able to get some great professional pics done of my favorite Travis. Is he cute as pie or what?!?!?!?

He really has "grown up" since we brought Shelby home. He is growing up so fast and wants to be as big as Caleb so bad. It is hard to remember sometimes that he is still only 5 years old. He will be going to "real school" next year. Both my boys off on the big yellow bus...oh how time passes us by in the blink of an eye.

Fay Baby on the Way

Playing catch up on some of the pics. The first set is from our Friday night event at my favorite mall visiting with Frannie and Ellen. Who by the way has just been matched with the cutest little bald headed baby ever ;) I am proud to say I was able to tug on this baby's red thread and it felt great. I can't wait to see her in person! Congrats to the Fays-YEAH!

Well I attended the support group Friday night and learned some information that I did not know before, which it is always nice to learn more! Hopefully there will be more to this in the later months to come. We also were able to see little Miss Ally too. Always fun to visit with our digit friends ;) Anyway fun night had by all.

Oh and here are some pics from our Easter Sunday. I am one blessed woman to have 3 gorgeous kids!! It didn't take long for Shelby to figure out the Easter egg hunts. Once she realized there was candy inside, there was no stopping her. We spent the afternoon at my dad's house which of course is always fun, especially with all the motorized toys and buggys and such.

I had Shelby's preop visit yesterday but will post more on that tomorrow. The great news is Shelby will NOT have to wear the no-nos (arm restraints). YEAH!

First Shelby Easter

My Little Easter Angel! I will post more pics later. This is for those of you who had to see my little one all dressed up.

Blogger Education

Here is a recent post from another blog that is great information for me. I am getting what I call a Blogger Education in palate surgery. I sure hope this education helps to prepare us for what lies ahead. Click here to read. I am very thankful to others for posting in great details. This is why I blog is to help educate others and of course to have a keepsake for Shelby about her early life with us.

Just the Numbers

• 4 yrs - the average time a child spends in American foster care before being adopted


• 1.5 million children live in public care in Central and Eastern Europe



• 12.4 million orphans live in Latin America and the Carribean

• 43.4 million orphans live in sub-Saharan Africa

• 87.6 million orphans live in Asia



• 16 million children were orphaned in 2003



• Every 14 seconds a child is orphaned as a result of AIDS




• 800,000 children in the American Foster Care system each year



• 143 Million orphans in the world

And the most startling numbers fact of all:

The fact that, if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world!

Fun Day Planned

Well it turns out that I have to work a half day today for a meeting that was rescheduled. The good part of that is that I am going to be able to take tomorrow afternoon off so that I can attend the 3rd Friday Hand in Hand Adoption Group tomorrow night. I am still going to make my Thursday playdate this afternoon and I will get to see all of my 3rd Friday friends too! So not much time to post today as I am busy at work and also going to be busy this afternoon playing and of course watching Travis play another baseball game. Here are some pics of the other night when my friend Shelly came by to see Travis play and also to introduce her daughter Leah to my Shelby. These two were cute as can be holding hands, playing in the dirt, and of course a little ring around the rosy.

And also I finally found a meal that is pleasing to all of my kids and myself-spaghetti. Shelby has turned out to be a little Italian only wanting pizza and spaghetti these days. The boys never would eat spaghetti until it dawned on me to just give them plain noodles (of course they are the healthy ones in disguise) with just parmesan cheese on them. I know I am a little slow, I just never thought of "plain" noodles. Anyway they ate them up so enjoy the pics. Also there is a shot of Shelby proudly telling everyone how old she is. Since they do this sign in China all the time for pictures, I thought it would be cute to send this one back to her foster mom. Another pic is my devious little girl "cutting" her eyes at me just acting silly. I love my little girl!

Adopted teens share and advise

I found an interesting article that was from the adopted teens perspective:

When you're of one race and your adoptive parents are of a different one, just walking down the street with your family can feel like the whole world knows you're adopted.

That's one of the things that a group of adopted teens talked about recently when they gathered at a Portland adoption agency to eat pizza, do artwork, and share their thoughts and feelings.

"It's just the odd looks, like when you're out in public, but you learn to ignore them after a while," said 14-year-old Tess Kupel of Scarborough, who was born in Vietnam but whose adoptive parents are white.

But Tess and the other teens laughed about how the experience can also have an up side. "It's great because when your parents are being very embarrassing, you can just walk away," Tess said. "It's like, 'No, I don't know you."

You can read the rest of the article here if you are interested.

Only my Dad

Yes, only my dad would invent such a wonderful "train" ride for the grandkids. Yes, that is a Rhino pulling some car seats on wheels. Oh and I said just for the grandkids, but of course my dad wouldn't leave me out. So yes, that is a seat made just for us big kids to be the caboose. My dad may come across as one tough guy, but seeing how much time and energy he puts into creating fun things for the grandkids and us kids-it is obvious he is just a big KID himself who obviously loves us very much :)

And here are some pics from the last couple of days. Notice Shelby sporting her new St. Patty's shirt courtesy of Grandma! Oh and Lori talked Shelby into putting Ugly Baby's clothes on our new "Green Baby". Yeah!

Trust

Trust...sounds like a simple word but oh how so much goes into that one little word. Trust is something that especially comes difficult to an adopted child. After all that my little girl has been through, it is amazing to me that she would ever trust someone ever again. BUT, I get the sense that she has and that she does "trust" me now. I can't really explain why I feel this way; however, there are a lot of little signs recently that give me this feeling. Maybe it is the way she puckers up to kiss me now. Maybe it is the way she strokes my hair and face at night now. Maybe it is the way she calls for me in the morning to come pick her up out of bed now. No longer is she scared that I won't come for her or be there every morning. Now she simply calls for me and she knows I will come. Maybe it is simply her special smile she gives me each and every day. Whatever it is...I am loving the fact that she is feeling secure in her family and secure with me as her mom!

We are about to have all things tested and tried as we are quickly approaching her surgery date-April 7. The main reason I have waited this long for her palate surgery was to do just this...show her she could trust me. I love it when things turn out the way they are planned. I am so hoping her surgery does the same. I pray every night for her pain control, her patience levels, her healing, my endurance, her surgeons, her nurses, and most importantly for her to trust me during this difficult time she will be facing. I wish I could explain to her that this surgery is for her well being, but adults sometimes don't even understand that. So all I can hope for is that she trusts me enough to know that I am there for her and that I would not do anything to hurt her and that I love her very very much. Please add my baby to your prayer list since I know God is the one who will get us through this together.

Direct Flights to China

Delta Air Lines will launch its first flights to China with a daily route between Shanghai and Atlanta beginning March 30.
A Boeing 777 will fly between Shanghai’s Pudong International Airport and Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, according to the company’s website.
The flights will begin March 30, U.S. time, but due to the time difference flights from Shanghai begin March 31.
The route, Delta’s first direct route to China, is one of several opened up to American carriers during China-U.S. air traffic negotiations last year.
“The route will serve as a bridge between Shanghai and 65 million residents in the southeastern U.S. who have active trade communications with China,” the official Xinhua News Agency quoted Delta Executive Vice President Lee Macenczak as saying.
[source]

So I checked on this on the Delta site and it is only a 15 hour, 40 minute non-stop trip over. And even better than that is the torturous trip home is now only 14 hours, and 40 minutes- piece of cake up next to the way we had to do it :)

Off Days ROCK

Man, this one day a week off day thing is the bomb. I had a wonderful day yesterday just hanging out with my kids and my friends. Let's see what all did we do...first I slept in until 8AM!! Yep can you believe it. The only reason I was able to do this is because I kept Travis home one extra day from school since he wasn't feeling the greatest the day before. Anyway then Travis, Shelby and I surprised Caleb at his school for lunch. Travis was able to practice getting his own lunch tray and choosing his own lunch for the first time. My baby boy is going to be going to school with Caleb next year so I thought it would be neat for him to give it a trial run. Of course we had a great lunch-school food and all.

Next we visited my favorite store-yep the Thrift Store. Travis purchased a new "army costume" and Shelby bought a new "cute baby" since Mom is really tired of carrying around "ugly baby". Then we picked up Caleb early from school and headed off to our Thursday playdate.

We met Heather and Chris at the playground for one HOT playdate. It was crazy busy at the park and really hot outside. The kids had fun but for only a brief time since it was so hot. I think I am going to suggest a different play date location for next week since this one didn't really work out too well. It was fun while it lasted though. My dad and Sandy even dropped by to give Shelby her very first dune buggy ride-FUN!

Since we were so hot we stopped off at Brusters on the way home from the park. We all (yes even me) enjoyed a refreshing treat at our favorite ice cream store. At home we played outside and had Lori and kids over. Hey we even had our favorite neighbors over last night too. See I told you I was really living up this stay at home mom thing. Fun Fun Fun! OK come on next Thursday!!

Ladies Night Out

Well last night was a big event for mom...dinner without ANY kids attached. That's right mom went to dinner with some adoption friends last night and had a great time. My sister was nice enough to handle the kid handoff and take all of them to baseball practice last night.

My Travis is playing on Uncle Scott's baseball team and having a great time. He even "won" the game ball at the first game on Saturday. I personally think Uncle Scott was playing favorites, but hey Travis was thrilled! He has shown that ball off to everyone.

Anyway, CJ picked up the kids from baseball and mom returned home for our bedtime routine. So thanks girls for a fun ladies night out. Even though we did sit around and talk about our kids all night, it was still a great kid-free dinner :)

Oh and here are some shots of me sneeking Shelby and Travis off to spend some of his donut birthday money the other day. Don't tell the school this is why he was tardy. Time spent sharing a donut with my kids is well worth the tardy slip! (Oh and no Sheila I didn't really eat a 5 pt donut, just the kids did)

New Cleaning Crew in Town

Move over Rosa, your competition has arrived!

Tomorrow is First Friday

I am really looking forward to tomorrow's First Friday meeting. Here are the details for anyone interested in attending. Hoping to really learn some scream free parenting tips tomorrow. I am sure my kids are hoping I learn something too ;) Oh and I really hope to see Mr. Micah live and in person!

~MEETING~ Friday, March 7, 2008 @ 7:00 PM

North Metro Church
2305 Barrett
Parkway, NW
Marietta, GA 30064

Click Here for Directions www.northmetro.org (678) 574-9596

www.firstfridayschina.com or email chapmansk@bellsouth.net

Vision Statement : Our vision is to make sure that every family who wants to adopt embrace the thought that "every child is worth the wait!"

Hal Runkel, March guest speaker, will appear on NBC's Today Show, Friday, March 7, 2008

Award-winning author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Hal Runkel is quickly becoming America's greatest expert on human relationships. With an impressive academic and social science background, he has taken the most advanced approaches to relationship theory and, through thousands of hours of family therapy, organizational consulting, and professional coaching in churches, family businesses, and schools, has developed the revolutionary ScreamFree Living methodology.

Click for More Information on Hal and Scream Free

Finally into 2006

For those of you not in the daily life of China Adoptions, the CCAA (gov't people in China adoptions) have finally matched kids with their parents this month. Well yes they match them with parents once a month every month, but this time it was special because they finally started matching parents who sent their paperwork in January 2006. Yep that's right they are just now matching kids to parents who have a LID (logged into China) of 12/28/05 through 01/04/06. It took China 32 months to get through everyone who requested a non-special needs child in 2005. At that rate if we were to have asked for a NSN child we would be waiting about another 6 years for our daughter. So glad we didn't have to wait that long! Congratulations to the following who are just now seeing their babies pictures for the first time...

The following blogs have pictures:
Ellie Morris Journey
Countdown to Aubriana
Journey to Double Happiness
Finally A Family
Nathan Dewitt
Lily Rolaine
Koss Family
Voyage to Karson

The following families in the SN program would like to share their news as well:
Gracie
Our Journey of Love
She Burbles at Happy
Little Latham
East and West Kids
Blessings from China

RosaLess

I knew this sad sad day would eventually come. With my new working arrangements and all of our unexpected expenses these days, I had to finally make the termination call to Rosa. Heaven help my children since the cleanliness of our home is now up to good ole mom. It wasn't like she came every day or even every week, but it sure was nice not having to deep scrub the showers and such. I guess all good things must come to an end. Not really thrilled about the new arrangements, but I am up for the challenge. I have to admit that Rosa was the best birthday present my hubby has ever gotten for me. Little did he know it that it was the gift that kept on giving :)

FCCA Potluck

Here are some pics from the weekend. We had a great time at Liz's house at the FCCA Potluck dinner. There were alot of people there that I had never met. I love expanding my adoption network of friends. Liz was so nice that she had even baked CJ a cake and let the kids help decorate it for dad (see why adoption friends rule)! Michelle was kind enough to share all her toys in her room which Shelby still needs some work in the sharing department. I love watching her play with other little girls. It was a great ending to a terrific day.

We spent some time on Sunday cleaning up from the storm last week. Well at least CJ and the kids did as I am not much of a yard cleaning (or any kind of cleaning for that matter) person. CJ told the kids that if they would help pick up the yard then he would put together their new trampoline. My man completed his task all by himself and the kids-well let's just say there are still a few more pinecones in the yard ;) I will have to get some pics of the new trampoline in action. I am sure it will get some use this afternoon.