Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Getting back to norm

I know I know, I have been slacking on the blogger end. However, my social life is busier than ever! Shelby and I have just been having playdates after playdates and hanging out and really enjoying Mom's time off from work ;) We even attending our first Christmas party at Chris and Greg's house on Saturday night. We did the norm church stuff on Sunday. Then we went Monday to this new cool place called The Coffee Park. We met with Lily, Sheridan, and Michelle for our big playdate. Unfortunately, Shelby still wasn't feeling well so she slept through most of the playdate. But Mom had a great time chit chatting and socializing with these great women. So we left there and were off to the doctor where we received much needed antibiotics for Shelby's whatever kind of cold thing she has. The doc also explained to me that until Shelby's surgery to close her palate that I needed to understand that she would be sick alot more than "regular" kids. And for me to know that when she is sick with something that it will typically last double the amount of time than someone with a closed palate. So that let me feel better about the last week we have had (I will explain in detail below). Anyway after the dr visit, we met up again with Sheridan at ChicFil@ and had another quick playdate and lunch. So fun had by all hanging out together all day.

Today Shelby and I went shopping with her Aunt Sheila most of the day. We started at the mall, then Target, then Costco. Then we were off to Chinese lunch again (Shelby is refusing most American food these days) with my dad. Next we had Travis' school conference where we learned that Travis is one smart 4 year old! He is doing wonderfully at school and believe it or not is not even the "class clown" as his mother originally predicted ;) Then we were off to Carol's where Shelby actually got down and played with Carol for about an hour today-yeah! Carol is going to be Shelby's caretaker when I go back to work, so we are easing her into going to Carol's house all this week. She will stay a few hours by herself starting next week. Then we were off to hang out with Lori and Ashlee and Alex. I did get a few pics of the kids playing outside at Lori's tonight. It was fun seeing Shelby actually playing again (see below). We wrapped up the evening at Shelby's first visit to Joe's Crab Shack since the weather is so nice. She loved it as expected and really enjoyed Ashlee taking her down the slide about 101 times :) So enjoy the fun pics of our happier times we have had this week!!

I thought I would go ahead and post about some of the not so fun parts of last week or so that we have had too. I have warned before that I blog about the good, bad and the ugly parts of adoption. Well I wanted to discuss some of the uglier parts that we have recently been through. Shelby started not feeling well last Wednesday and she quickly went down hill from there. We had a week of LOTS of tantrums and uncontrollable crying spells and throwing fits, etc. Looking back now on the week, I realize it was mainly because she wasn't feeling great. However, it was still a really rough week all together no matter what the reason. I felt so sorry for her especially when she would run a fever and feel horrible. She would cry and cry and there was really nothing I could do for her. She would let me comfort her the best I could most of the time when she was running a fever though.

The problem was that I could not "fix it" and that was very hard on me to watch her being miserable. I so wanted to be able to make her laugh or giggle or just be happy a little bit. Unfortunately, she was like a different child for all of last week. I was getting very very worried that her immunization shots had actually altered her personality. You hear about all this autism being caused by immunizations, and to be frankly honest- I was very concerned for a while there after her shots. I mean she was totally a different kid there throwing screaming fits most of the time. No one wanted to come near her or touch her scared that it would trigger a tantrum. We all walked on eggshells around her to just try to keep the peace in the house. When Shelby and I would go out, she would not leave my side or lap or even sit in a high chair. I was really really worried that we had altered her personality forever.

Well needless to say, we seem to have turned the corner-finally. Yesterday she started feeling better and getting down out of my lap to play a little bit. So I am very thankful to finally see more and more of the real fun loving Shelby come back again. She still throws a fit every now and then, but I am pretty used to that by now. I still really wish that I could meet all of her needs, and that she would not feel so frustrated that she has to have a tantrum. Unfortunately, her tantrums seem to be getting harder and harder on the boys. They are pretty much really tired of watching her throw toys and screaming at them and trying to hit and pinch and scratch them. Frankly, I don't blame them and sometimes I even have to just walk away and let her cry. I feel so sorry for her as I can only imagine how difficult this life change is for her. I am only human though, so one should know their limits and know when to just walk away and BREATHE. I always return to her quickly and eventually she lets me pick her up and hold her until she calms down. So basically we are all dealing with this "bad" and hard part of her adjustments the best we know how. You can see below a little bit of a Shelby tantrum. Again, I am so thankful to finally see our real Shelby come through some today. Looking forward to seeing her feel better more and more every day and get back to playing and having fun with all of us. Keep praying for us and her little soul to heal more and more with her new life as a Straight!

5 comments:

Cupcakes and Hairbows said...

Poor little girl (and mommy). It sounds so hard, but it does sound like you are keeping it all in perspective. I do hope she feels better. Possibly, feeling bad also made her a bit sad (missing her FM who had been the one to care for her when sick). She just can't explain or understand any of that. I know exactly what you mean about walking away - sometimes that is what is best for everyone!

Unknown said...

I love YOUR honesty, your encouragement and your pics~

The Evans Family said...

You are doing a great job! Your little girl is learning about Mom as well as Mom learning about her. Remember that your boys had their ups and downs as babies and you did the best you could. Shelby's are just different because she has a two year history that she brought with her! I've not heard that having an open palate would cause more or longer illnesses. Analiese is actually my healthiest child and recovers from colds and surgeries much, much faster than my others! I'm glad that you are enjoying your time with Shelby and getting in that much needed bonding!

Angela and Jay said...

Praying that little Shelby is feeling better soon. It was wonderful to see her with you at FF. Praying for your family.

Anonymous said...

with you on her side she will be alright, Remember that no matter how hard it gets to watch her tantrums that God will not put more on you than you can bear, he will continue to give you strength as you continue to help her. God bless you all I pray for you and your family each day, shelby will one day forget about the bad and only remember the good, She has the best that God could give her. HE wouldnt fail her now. Keep the faith

Charlece ww