Straight Talk

For the "Babies" Post on RQ

2012-02-20T07:00:00.000-08:00

Since we finally have our LOA, I wanted to introduce my Rumor Queen friends to our new addition we plan to bring home in May. Here is our new addition, Ian!

He is 8 years old living in Xi'an CWI. We found him from an advocate post on RQ back in Sept and submitted our LOI on Sept 21, 2011. We are very excited to be bringing him home soon :)

The Village

2012-02-18T16:13:00.000-08:00

Just read this post and my oh my how true it is. I know it is long, but if you are part of
"my village" then it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for being my village, couldn't do it without you!

http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/11/02/how-to-be-the-village

These were my favorites out of her list:

3. For the next few months, do not assume the transition is easy. For 95% of us, it so is not. And this isn’t because our family is dysfunctional or our kids are lemons, but because this phase is so very hard on everyone. I can’t tell you how difficult it was to constantly hear: “You must be so happy!” and “Is life just so awesome now that they’re here??” and “Your family seems just perfect now!” I wanted that to be true so deeply, but I had no idea how to tell you that our home was actually a Trauma Center. (I did this in a passive aggressive way by writing this blog, which was more like “An Open Letter to Everyone Who Knows Us and Keeps Asking Us How Happy We Are.”) Starting with the right posture with your friends – this is hard right now – will totally help you become a safe friend to confide in / break down in front of / draw strength from.

4. Do not act shocked if we tell you how hard the early stages are. Do not assume adoption was a mistake. Do not worry we have ruined our lives. Do not talk behind our backs about how terribly we’re doing and how you’re worried that we are suicidal. Do not ask thinly veiled questions implying that we are obviously doing something very, very wrong. Do not say things like, “I was so afraid it was going to be like this” or “Our other friends didn’t seem to have these issues at all.” Just let us struggle. Be our friends in the mess of it. We’ll get better.

Sweet Saturday

2012-02-18T09:31:00.002-08:00

Look who I get to hang out with all day! You should be jealous :)

Adoption Credit

2012-02-17T11:58:00.000-08:00

I never thought that I would be excited to file my taxes. Well this year...YIPPEE! We are expecting a big fat refund for Elise's adoption last year. Yes, to the tune of $13,360!! The IRS is offsetting our $30K of Elise's adoption expenses (includes all agency, paperwork, and travel costs), by giving us a clear refund of $13,360. We will of course be using the refund to travel for Ian.

This refund is what has helped make all of our adoptions affordable. Unfortunately, this adoption credit is due to expire at the end of this year unless something changes. Here is a brief explanation:

2012 — The tax credit will be $12,650 per child. Families who adopt children with special needs will be able to claim the full credit regardless of their qualified adoption expenses. Other adopters will have to have qualified adoption expenses.

The credit will NOT be refundable, meaning that families can benefit only if they have federal income tax liability. Just as before 2010, families will claim the credit with their 2012 taxes, use what they can that year, and then can carry any remaining credit forward for five additional years until the credit is used up or time runs out.

2013 — Only families who adopt special needs children from foster care will be eligible for up to $6,000 in the adoption tax credit.

So we are hopeful that something will be done to extend the credit; however, I fear that with the congress budget cuts it will not be :( This adoption credit is what makes the process affordable to most families. Investing $30K to bring a child home to a safe forever family is still worth it, but it does help tremendously to cut that number almost in half when you factor in your IRS refund. I pray they will continue the credit in some form or fashion.

Chinese Massage

2012-02-15T12:33:00.000-08:00

Anyone who has experienced a massage in China should read this hilarious detailing post about his recent massage "therapy". Give yourself a full 5 minutes to make it all the way through the post. Guarantee you will be laughing out loud!

Looking forward to all 3 of us getting some "normal" back/foot massages soon though :)

Hmmmmm

2012-02-15T09:27:00.001-08:00

Maybe she is related to KISS ;)

Video of Ian

2012-02-13T06:29:00.000-08:00

Received this new video of Ian. Kobe was asking him about what he "needed" mom to buy him. I am happy to know that it just a few short months, my son will no longer need a lock and key for his things. NO one will ever be stealing his food from him ever again. He also simply asked for a desk lamp to use as a nightlight so he isn't scared at night. Unfortunately the orphanage won't let him have a light even if I sent one right now. Can't get him home soon enough!

John Waller Live Surprise

2012-02-12T11:26:00.001-08:00

Check out how our church blessed us this morning! Yes, a surprise private concert by John Waller :) See below a small clip of him singing the great song that has helped me through the torturous "waits" for my babies in China. What a blessing it was to share with him personally what his song has meant to me...While I'm Waiting!!

Private Concert

2012-02-12T11:24:00.001-08:00

Baby Crocker at it Again

2012-02-11T14:51:00.000-08:00

Kisses from Katie

2012-02-09T06:38:00.000-08:00

Excited to finally get to read her new book!

"Adoption is wonderful and beautiful and the greatest blessing I have ever experienced. Adoption is also difficult and painful. Adoption is a beautiful picture of redemption. It is the Gospel in my living room. And sometimes, it's just hard." (Kisses From Katie pg. 72)

"My family, adopting these children, it is not optional. It is not my good deed for the day; it is not what I am doing to "help out these poor kids." I adopt because God commands me to care for the ophans and the widows in their distress." (Kisses from Katie pg. 73)

The truth is that if only 8% of the Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics left. This is the Truth. I have the freedom to believe it. The freedom, the opportunity to do something about it. The truth is that He loves these children just as much as He loves me and now that I know, I am responsible to act." (Kisses from Katie pg 91-92)

It's HERE

2012-02-06T13:48:00.000-08:00

Okay Okay, well maybe I was just a little ~~obsessive and angry~~ impatient.

Turns out today is a GREAT day!

This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.--Psalm 118:24

Just Sayin...

2012-02-06T07:27:00.000-08:00

Day 90

This Little Piggy

2012-02-04T18:12:00.001-08:00

Went hehehe all the time at home :)

Changed

2012-02-03T11:05:00.001-08:00

To have a nice 4-wheeler. To not always be broke. To pay for my own college and car. To help orphan charities.

This was written by my eldest son Caleb after being challenged by a financial speaker to write down the reasons he wanted to be financially successful. (I ~~forced~~ invited Caleb with us to the "grown up" seminar about finances on Sunday night.) I will admit I teared up a bit after peeking over his shoulder to see what he was writing down.

As you can see, adoption has not only changed me, it has changed our entire family-

FOR THE GOOD!

One of the most common thoughts and opinions of ~~non-adopters~~ others is, "Aren't you worried about how this will affect your real children? Don't you think you are taking away from them?"

To this I can honestly answer... YES, I hope to take away from them their selfish behaviors, greediness, self-centerness, impatience, intolerance, and inability to give to others in need.

Judging by my 12 year old's goals, I think we are off to a good start!

Seeing Red

2012-02-02T19:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, you must look close but it is indeed there....Ladybug!
(ladybugs are supposedly the good luck charm for China adoptions)
Guess we will see just how much "luck" this little one brings me tomorrow :)

Day 84...

2012-01-31T12:24:00.000-08:00

Glimmer of hope today from a little birdie. Crossing fingers and toes to maybe see my LOA on Friday or Monday!

Amy Has Her

2012-01-30T12:38:00.000-08:00

Great morning to wake up and see one of my "projects" with her new baby girl. Amy finally has been united with her little Louisa! She is updating on her babyjellybeans site, you can get the code off her blog here: http://popsiclesandpopcorn.blogspot.com/

Happy Gotcha Day for this sweet family!!

Princess Power

2012-01-30T09:05:00.000-08:00

Lunch in Xi'an

2012-01-29T14:03:00.001-08:00

Love His Smile

2012-01-27T06:22:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday!

Favorite Party Pic

2012-01-26T08:36:00.001-08:00

Tea Party

2012-01-26T08:09:00.000-08:00

While the boys were away, us girls went out to play! Shelby requested that we have a REAL tea party. I checked around and found us a deal, we were then off to have a $20 "real" tea party. Shelby enjoyed every single minute, scones and all. Me on the other hand...well not my cup of tea-haha.

The point of the event was to spend time with my girls, and that was a great success. Memories were made and scones were eaten (at least by Shelby)!!

The Boys

2012-01-25T10:47:00.000-08:00

Caleb has his first band concert last night. He did great as expected! So proud of both of my big boys. Here they are enjoying their muddy weekend they had with their dad doing all things BOY. Love my boys :)

Let It Snow

2012-01-24T10:52:00.000-08:00

Ian is really enjoying playing in the snow this week. I love this first picture-pure JOY!

I love seeing him having fun and playing in the snow. I don't think GA will ever see that much snow, so I am happy he is getting to experience it now before he comes home.

I am dissappointed in the extra long wait for LOA, but very happy that he is getting to make some good memories in China!

Happy Year of the Dragon

2012-01-23T09:01:00.000-08:00

We celebrated Chinese New Year with some friends this weekend. The boys had their own agenda (will post later), so it was just a girls weekend for us. We had a great time sharing stories and meeting old and new friends. What an amazing year it has been!

Snow Day for Ian

2012-01-21T16:40:00.000-08:00

Makes my heart smile today :)

My Day

2012-01-20T11:02:00.000-08:00

Woke up this morning with high hopes of getting good news...

And now...

Unfortunately my LOA has not been issued from China. The "big" deal about it not arriving today is that now the folks in China are closed for the next TEN days...ugh. The whole country closes for an entire week to celebrate Chinese New Year.

So very sad that now at the earliest, it will be May when I can travel.

Growing Up

2012-01-19T17:54:00.000-08:00

Yes she is...right before my eyes. There's no stopping her I'm afraid

Big Performance

2012-01-18T11:03:00.000-08:00

The big performance day is coming for my son. His whole class has been practicing and rehearsing for the big day this Friday. All the kids are very excited to finally reach the big day when all their hardwork will finally be revealed. They have learned new songs, practiced a few new little "dances", and even learned some new poems to recite at the big event. Finally the big day is coming!

They will all line up on the stage together to perform for their
~~proud parents~~,
~~doting grandparents~~,
~~little sisters~~,
~~big brothers~~
peers.

You see my son I am talking about is Ian. Unfortunately this is his reality-no one there for him.

Every year the orphanage kids "get ready" for the big Chinese New Year celebration. Their celebration will be this coming weekend. No one is there to cheer them on, to tell them how great they looked, to take picture after picture of their big day, or to give them a big hug afterwards telling each of them how proud of them they are are. THEY HAVE NO ONE!

How sad it is to realize that this is their reality, my son's reality for the past 8 years. It breaks my heart to truly let myself think about it, and it should break yours too :(

If you want to know how to be there for a child, drop me an email to learn more about adoption.

Learning Patience Slowly

2012-01-16T13:44:00.000-08:00

Nine Today

2012-01-15T10:52:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to my favorite Travis in the whole world!!!

Girls Night Out

2012-01-14T15:27:00.001-08:00

Birthday Kid

2012-01-13T15:38:00.000-08:00

Here is Travis showing off his favorite kind of gift :) Heaven help me tonight as we host a sleepover with 7 BOYS!!

Hope

2012-01-10T15:58:00.000-08:00

Check out our dinner fortune tonight!!

First Day Back to School

2012-01-10T15:06:00.000-08:00

This is what Elise thinks about going back to school...

Straight As

2012-01-10T13:54:00.000-08:00

Well I already knew my youngest son was adorable, and now I know he is smart too!

Check out his latest report card from the orphanage :)

Congratulations Ian, can't wait to give you a hug and a kiss for each hard earned A!!

62 Days and STILL Counting

2012-01-09T07:47:00.000-08:00

I tried to be patient at least up to the 60 day mark. Well now, we are at day 62 waiting for our LOA (Letter of Approval) to adopt Ian. Unfortunately the "averages" right now are all over the board from 50 to even 120 days of waiting for LOA. Hoping and praying it comes SOON, as I am not a patient waiter. The LOA wait seems to be the hardest for me since there is absolutely nothing I can do about this wait. At least with the next few "waits", they are fairly predictable and I at least know a few tricks to speed them along. But for now, all I can do is wait........................UGH

KFC Yummy

2012-01-08T11:23:00.001-08:00

A Day in the Life...

2012-01-07T16:02:00.001-08:00

Small World

2012-01-06T12:50:00.001-08:00

Just received these pics from another family who just so happened to be in China at the exact same time we were last year. I mean exactly, as in our families were actually together at the medical exam in Guangzhou. They were there adopting their new 6 year old daughter, who was in the same class as Ian. Here are the pics from the little song the class sang for them.

How neat it is to be able to see exactly what he was doing at the same time we were in his country :)

Wakeup Dentistry

2012-01-05T13:59:00.001-08:00

TookShelby to a 7:15AM dentist visit this morning. Turns out it was a false alarm as he did not see anything. I will take it as answered prayers! 2 days ago when I made appt she was in pain with what appeared to look like a random tooth coming in on her palate. Today....nothing!

New Haircut

2012-01-03T07:22:00.001-08:00

Looks like Ian got a new buzz cut this week. He is growing up without his mama L Sure wish I could hurry up and get there!

The Fun Continues

2012-01-02T11:09:00.000-08:00

A Girl and her Bunny

2012-01-01T09:07:00.001-08:00

True Love

Noon Year's Eve Party

2011-12-31T08:14:00.000-08:00

Then and Now

2011-12-29T17:41:00.001-08:00

Pretty sure Faith is her favorite since Faith really LOVED hearing Chinese during her last visit 3 years ago (right after Faith came home)

Cousins

2011-12-29T16:47:00.001-08:00

My cousin and his family drove about 15 hours to come by for a quick visit tonight. Love visiting with my Chinese relatives! So neat for my girls to have cousins that look like them. I know it sounds weird, but trust me as I know it means a great deal to my girls. So thanks guys for taking the time to visit. Wish you all lived closer for sure!!

Won't Be Easy

2011-12-29T07:05:00.000-08:00

There is another family currently adopting an 11 year old from Ian's orphanage right now in China. As you can read on their blog here, things aren't so easy. I don't expect things to be easy when we get there for Ian either.
Ian also does NOT want to be adopted or move to America. Who would really? Think about putting yourself in his 8 year old brain. Why on earth would you want to agree to go with people you have never met, to go to a far away country you have never seen? It would be like me telling Travis that next month someone is coming to get you to move you to Australia. You won't ever see us (like Ian's nannys), or your home (Ian's orphanage), or your brothers and sisters (Ian's friends) ever again, but you will have a better life, we promise. WHAT?!?!

I would hope that Travis or Ian wouldn't just agree to go. This tells me that Ian does have feelings and true emotions and connections there at the orphanage. Unfortunately a lot of kids who are raised inside an orphanage, don't have emotions-ANY emotion. I would much rather see Ian "feeling" right now, than not to "feel". This tells me that there is hope that one day Ian will be able to feel our love for him, and maybe even Ian feel love for us :)

No, it won't be easy. It will take work. There will be a lot of tears shed (from everyone). But I have faith that God didn't send me on this journey to fail. Praying for wisdom when the time comes to finally meet my son.

"God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called"

Falcon Fan

2011-12-27T13:23:00.001-08:00

Yea, Shelby received her asked for Falcon shirt from Santa. We have no idea why she wanted one as we never watch sports in our house, but it was number 2 on her list! I guess she must have some of Betty's spirit in her (our neighbor and avid Falcon fan).

I will admit she makes an adorable fan!

Reason For The Season

2011-12-25T18:39:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T15:33:00.001-08:00

It's Here!

2011-12-25T15:28:00.001-08:00

2011-12-25T07:46:00.000-08:00

Christmas Almost Here

2011-12-24T12:45:00.001-08:00

Cookie Time

2011-12-24T12:44:00.001-08:00

Two of a Kind

2011-12-22T09:03:00.000-08:00

My cousin just sent me this pic of myself about the same age as Faith is now. Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree ;) Love our cheezy look alike grins!

Be The Difference

2011-12-21T06:26:00.001-08:00

Be The Difference from Videos for AGCI on Vimeo.

Singing Debut

2011-12-21T06:14:00.001-08:00

Faith is in all red, 3rd child from the left bottom row. She did so well today singing with her PreK class.

Christmas Princess

2011-12-20T07:43:00.001-08:00

Faith is all dressed up to see Santa at her school today!

Family

2011-12-19T11:05:00.001-08:00

Here is my mom and her sisters and brother. Quite the handsome bunch :) My mom and her siblings are all pretty close. I think this is why my mom has always supported me with my choices to expand my family. My mom has been the only one in my family to understand my decisions and not "shun" me for them. I am so very grateful for my mom and her unconditional love for me and ALL my babies!

Fashion Show

2011-12-19T10:14:00.000-08:00

It was so funny letting the girls loose with their bucket of makeup and hair accessories. We were then presented with a too cute fashion show :)

Pizza Party

2011-12-18T13:26:00.001-08:00

Ian is enjoying his first taste of Papa John's!

Early Christmas

2011-12-18T12:29:00.000-08:00

Kobe took Ian out for a little shopping spree. I asked him to get Ian some new clothes for Christmas. He got him a new outfit, new shoes, new jacket, and even some chocolates. Merry Christmas to my son across the world!

Baby Boy

2011-12-16T07:23:00.000-08:00

Kelly (who led me to Ian) is now advocating for another special little boy who just turned a year old. Hop on over here to see this cutie and see if you might be his family, or know someone who need a little blue bundle in their lives :)

Happy Go Lucky

2011-12-15T07:37:00.000-08:00

Ian had a great time at the river with Kobe. As you can see, Ian is sporting a new scarf and hat to help keep him warm, Kobe is a great shopper buying him just the things he needs to be comfortable. I found out the average high during the day there right now is about 25 degrees, brrrrrrr. Kind of makes me happy to know we won't be traveling until Spring weather hits.

Happy to see that Ian is a happy go lucky kiddo. Can't wait to get my hands on him!!

Christmas Spirit

2011-12-14T07:32:00.001-08:00

As you can see, the kids are in the spirit thanks to our neighborhood ChicFilA!

Baby Rudolph

2011-12-13T15:43:00.001-08:00

Videos of Ian

2011-12-12T07:57:00.000-08:00

This first one is of Ian receiving a new "hot pad" from Kobe. We bought it to help keep his hands warm inside the orphanage. Fact is there isn't a lot of heat inside the orphanage. Kobe thought this would help.

Then Kobe treated Ian to a nice restaurant lunch. Here a few clips of Ian getting ready to chow down. As you can see, Ian's "special need" won't slow him down one bit!

And finally him enjoying his lunch!! What a blessing it is to have these short glimpses into our son's personality. It makes this awful wait so much more bearable, especially here at Christmas time.

Present from Kobe

2011-12-12T07:37:00.001-08:00

Kobe put together a nice little tribute to Ian. Here it is all the way from China:

Painting Masterpieces

2011-12-10T16:15:00.001-08:00

3 Years with Faith

2011-12-09T07:02:00.000-08:00

Wanted to show some pics to remind us just how much my baby Faith has grown and blossomed right before our eyes. How blessed we are to get to love this special little treasure!

New 797 Approved

2011-12-09T06:42:00.000-08:00

Received this email from our officer about our I-800A Supplement 3 approval and renewal:

Hello: The Supplement 3 to the I-800A has been approved. Your new expiration date is 03/01/2013. The notices will be mailed tomorrow.

Best regards,

Hague Adoption Unit

Department of Homeland Security

United States Citizenship and Immigration

National Benefits Center, Lee's Summit, MO

So what does this mean? Basically it is just one more crucial step in the paperwork process to bring Ian home. Yahoo! Still hoping to travel around Aprilish.

Three Years Ago

2011-12-08T12:08:00.000-08:00

Take a trip down memory lane and check out what we were doing 3 years ago today:

http://myshelbybaby.blogspot.com/2008/12/she-is-ours.html

Amazing to see how far my baby Faith has come in just 3 short years. She is adorable, sweet, and of course FUNNY! She has an amazing infectious laugh and we love her to pieces :)

Happy 3rd Gotcha baby girl!!

Just Kiddin

2011-12-08T11:23:00.000-08:00

My little Elise really didn't get her ears pierced! She would really like to be just like her big sisters, but I think until she can at least keep her shoes on all day (like a big girl) she really shouldn't get earrings. These are just clip-ons, and no she didn't keep them on either, since she wants to pull them off and look at them (over and over again). You can't really do that with the real things ;)

Anyhow, take a moment to be blessed by another former orphan:
http://elliourgiftfromgod.blogspot.com/p/xiaoyun-speaks.html

Notice Anything New?

2011-12-06T16:33:00.001-08:00

Where's the Line to See Jesus?

2011-12-06T10:51:00.000-08:00

"Where's the Line to See Jesus?"

The story behind the song, as told by Steve Haupt:

"While at the mall last year, my 4 year old grandson saw kids lined up excitedly to see Santa Claus. Having been taught as a toddler that Christmas is the holiday that Christians celebrate the birth of God's son, with the innocence of a child, he asked his mom, "where's the line to see Jesus"? If Christmas is Jesus' birthday, why don't we see Him more? As his grandpa, I was so happy that little Spencer understood the meaning of Christmas at such a tender age, and then the words for a song were jotted down in just a few minutes. The song was inspired by my grandson, and the message was inspired by my Savior. Out of the mouths of babes come profound truths that many adults can not understand. Hopefully Spencer's observation and our song will cause people to reflect on the love of Jesus, and the certainty that one day we will all stand in line to see Jesus. Merry Christmas everyone."

A Day in the Life

2011-12-05T13:14:00.000-08:00

While you watch this video, just think about my Shelby. This is probably how her little life started.

The video was made by Love Without Boundaries as part of their recent documentary:

LWB was invited to take part in "One Day on Earth," a documentary to record events in every country of the world on 11-11-11. We invite you to watch our 9 minute submission, which filmed babies helped at our Anhui Healing Home. We are so very grateful for your support, which allows our life changing work with orphaned children to continue.

Making Their List

2011-12-04T16:28:00.001-08:00

And checking it twice! Yes, even the 2 year old knows how to shop online :)

Princess Elise

2011-12-04T14:01:00.001-08:00

Process Changes

2011-12-03T05:39:00.000-08:00

Since most of my adoption peeps read my blog, I thought I would just go ahead and post here some of the recent China changes that the CCAA made to the process. And for all you non-adoptive folks, have a moment of pity for us doing all this ridiculous paperwork ;)

For families who have not yet started their home study process or who anticipate having their dossier submitted to China after October 1, 2011, the following are new requirements:
• All home studies and post placement reports must be completed by Hague accredited agencies only
• There must be four face–to-face meetings with a social worker
• Families must have at least three reference letters sent directly to the home study agency. If the applicants have a child over the age of 18, it is preferred that the adult child write one of the letters, covering his/her relationship with parents, evaluation of their merits and shortcomings, discipline and any family violence or maltreatment or reason to believe the parents are not suitable to adopt a child. If the parents have children in school, it is preferred that one letter be written by a teacher.
• Families with a history of receiving counseling, with a history of alcohol problems, mental health issues or abuse of any kind, or other reasons which the social worker deems necessary, are required to have a professional psychological evaluation
• Pre-adoptive education must be a total of 12 hours or more

For all families receiving their Travel Approval after August 1, 2011, the following new requirements regarding post placement reports will apply:
• All post placement reports must be completed by Hague accredited agencies
• Reports must be prepared at one month, six months, twelve months, two years, three years and five years after adoption
• For adoptees who are close to fourteen years old at adoption, reports are required following the above format until the adoptee turns 18 years old
• Reports due at two, three and five years after adoption should include doctor reports and school evaluations and if applicable, a short essay by the adoptee describing their everyday life if he/she is at least 10 years old
• Each post placement report must include at least eight photos of the child

He Knows

2011-12-02T08:06:00.000-08:00

Kobe decided to go ahead and tell Ian last weekend that indeed he will be adopted next year. Kobe told him that he does have a mother. Ian said that no he didn't because he didn't know who she was. Kobe assured him that he does, and that I am doing all the paperwork to adopt him. Ian accepted that and kind of just shook his head OK.

Hoping and praying that he takes this information into his heart and starts to really believe that he does have a mother. I hope he starts to process this and comes to happy place knowing that soon he will indeed meet his forever mother.

Kobe hasn't yet told him about all his brothers and sisters, and of course his father. One day at a time...

Possible Things to Come

2011-12-01T09:19:00.000-08:00

I asked another adoptive mom (who just brought home her 7 year old son 6 months ago from China) to give me the good, the bad, and yes even the UGLY about bringing home an older son. Here is her email/thoughts she sent to me.
here are a few tips and thoughts.....

If I really have to analyze him I would say he definitely struggled at the beginning especially. The first several days really shocked me as far as his grief response. He SOBBED for hours at a time. He was stubborn sometimes and would not move away from the window in our room and longingly looked out to wait for his "friends" to come (we didn't know that was what he was looking for until several days in--made us a little mad actually cuz the nanny thought it was a great idea to tell him they were coming to ease his pain on adoption day.---I kind of want to smack her for that, but alas I cannot..)

He did not eat much for several days. That surprised me too. I had the whole "adopted kids eat everything in sight" mentality. He went on a hunger strike.

The language barrier was big, but not undoable. He would find his own ways to communicate with "signs" of his own and attempts to make words. It was challenging but really didn't take many days/weeks for us to start to understand one another. We quickly figured out "show pia" (not spelled correctly, but it means "I gotta pee"---and "I will drop trau whereever you put me down outside so you better get me to where I need to go") lol

I think at age 7 I didn't really fully expect him to want to play with toys at such a younger level than he was. Think simple and almost preschoolish stuff.

Nor did I expect, once he got toys, that at the beginning he would not play with anything at all. He just organized things and put them back in his suitcase. By the way....theTWO things he LOVED and totally got into---a beach ball in the room, and glow sticks. But, he sort of took over the suitcase where they were and broke all of them in 5 minutes. I would have liked to save a few for another day, but hey. We ended up indulging him while in China and bought cheap dumb stuff like plastic phones, sticker books, sunglasses, etc. I think that is a better way to go than to bring too much along. He took more ownership of that stuff. And it was a little more familiar to him.

On the topic of toys, I would not take a ton along. Our son just was too overwhelmed with everything. He wanted "real" stuff--and dare I admit, he LOVED the HOT pot in the room. He would make tea for us, etc. (all supervised of course) but "toys" i brought just were hard for him to connect with. skip it -- he's not an infant---(sorry if that sounds mean or harsh, but I waisted weight room in our suitcase with well intended gifts.

On that topic--after 6 months of being home ---he has TRULY learned the art of PLAYING with toys. I LOVE IT!!!!!! He plays pretend, etc. HIs obsession is Fire trucks, Police Cars, Ambulances, etc. Not sure if that is universal with these guys, but may be something to consider taking--a few matchbox cars or something. He did come to us saluting police officers. =)

So my list of "difficult" would probably be:

Language barrier--we used Google Translate, An app for my husb IPhone and a sweet phrase CD for adoptive families ((SImple Language For Adoptive Families-)

Unable to play with toys

Heavy Grief

Food strike (or I've heard it can go the other way around and they eat till they get sick)

OH Here's one we didn't find out about until after week ONE...UGH!!!---Kids this age still take NAPS!!!!! Some of his crabbiness at times and meltdowns could have been averted by 2 hours of sleep in the afternoon. Something to consider. Even a down time or rest time of some sort.

Not sure if this is good bad OR ugly but he was very much into self grooming, orderliness, having his backpack with all his possessions close at bedtime, having clothes laid out next to him for the next day (and wanting to wear the 3 layers of clothes he came in --often!!!)

Only read this next part if you are in a "good" place in being ready for some meltdowns and fierce ugliness....(this has significantly resolved so find comfort in that)

We struggled a lot with Spitting in my face, hitting, kicking, biting, sneering at me and saying what we have deemed "Chinese curse words" in our house, clawing at me, etc.

These issues seemed to creep up a few times a week at the beginning, then slowly have faded.

This sounds sort of dumb and basic, but when life normalized I got lazy with things that I think are HUGE to these older kids---ie a specific bedtime, and routine for the day, food at regular times with snacks at his leisure (I'm not finicky about snacks), letting well meaning friends take him for a day/or half day and then bringing him back (he would meltdown at the beginning because he wanted to go live with his friends). He is more flexible with some of these things now, but food was huge....low blood sugar (he is not diabetic) just created a monster in him. My fault many times, but we've worked it through.

We really do believe he was well cared for and not abused in China. He shows a lot of affection toward us but in his anger he has said some pretty mean things. He does apologize now. He really has come a long way. Writing this really has reminded me of that.

If I think of anything else I'll write more. Right now he is on my lap giving me a kiss.

Let me close with saying....I'd do it all again in a heartbeat if we had the finances....

These are just a few of the "things" we are preparing ourselves for in a few months. This adoption will be drastically different than our last 3 for sure! So I am preparing myself for seeing Ian more like this the first few days and months. No one ever said adoption is easy.

Weekend Pics

2011-11-30T07:27:00.000-08:00

Here are the new pics from last weekend. Kobe is Ian's tutor, he is in the
picture with the little girl from the orphanage. Looks like they all had a
great time playing basketball together.

One More

2011-11-28T17:18:00.001-08:00

Look who else is now sporting glasses in my crew. Took Travis to the dr this morning for a strep test. Figured out during the exam that he couldn't read the poster right there on the office wall when the nurse asked him to pick which picture best described how he felt. He couldn't read the numbers right there in front of him?!?!
Needless to say, yes he does have strep but more importantly he needed an eye exam. CJ took him today and it turns out he needs glasses for reading.

One thing for sure when you have a boat load of kids...expect the unexpected ;)

Video from China

2011-11-28T10:31:00.000-08:00

Woke up to a wonderful surprise from China this morning, a video of Ian! Check out my boy shooting hoops in Xi'an. Oh and love that they are already calling him Ian :)

Five of my Own

2011-11-26T14:13:00.001-08:00

It's Beginning To Look...

2011-11-24T15:12:00.001-08:00

Santa Baby

2011-11-24T09:30:00.001-08:00

3 Bugs on my Rug

2011-11-23T16:27:00.001-08:00

Ian's Writings

2011-11-23T10:17:00.001-08:00

I think his English handwriting is already better than my "Dr. Travis" HA!

Chinese School

2011-11-21T07:54:00.000-08:00

The girls and I have been going to "Chinese School" for a couple of months now, and they love it! It is a neat little group that is organized and taught by some of the Chinese students at Emory. Here is their description from their website:
Welcome to Emory China Care's Dumplings Playgroup, a Chinese cultural class provided by students of Emory University. The playgroup is designed specifically for families with children adopted from China and Taiwan, between the ages of 2 and 6.

Dumplings meets most Sundays at 4:30 p.m. in the Rich Building and is located on 1660 N. Decatur Road, Atlanta, GA 30322. Free, covered parking is provided at the Fishburne Parking Deck.

Playgroups are free with generous funding provided by the Confucius Institute.

Come out and learn, laugh and play with us!

The girls have a great time, and I get to attempt to learn some Chinese (not so easy). Hopefully I can pick up a few words before traveling to meet Ian. This week was a lot of fun as the girls got to make Sticky Rice Balls with Red Bean filling-yum!

Ian's Weekend Adventures

2011-11-19T09:26:00.000-08:00

Zoom in on the board and you can see that Ian is hard at work learning about what a family is, and what a Mom and Dad are all about :)

Weekend Full of Fun

2011-11-19T09:12:00.001-08:00

Thankful

2011-11-18T13:52:00.000-08:00

This week I have had the privilege to attend all of my kids' Thanksgiving Feasts at their respective schools. I have to say that it has been quite a job to juggle all the time slots, all the extra driving here and there, to and from work, hurrying around to get to them all on time, on the right day...

SO worth Every.Single.Minute.

I love to spend time with my kiddos and seeing them "light up" when they see me there at their school for their special lunch, well just makes me light up too! It is times like these that I am reminded why I do all the things I do. Late nights, hard days at work, diapers, laundry, cleaning, groceries, yelling, homeworking, bathing, feeding, sacrificing.

I LOVE MY KIDS

And today Shelby gave me a precious gift to really remind me why I am yet again putting myself through the ringer for yet...another child. The paperwork, the money, the headaches, the cutting through all the red tape of the adoption process, oh and of course all the negative criticism.

I wouldn't trade any of this for the world. Priceless my friends, priceless!!

Twelve

2011-11-16T07:23:00.000-08:00

Twelve years ago today, my life was forever changed. I became a mom to this precious baby boy...

Before I was a Mom I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom I had never been puked on.
Pooped on. Spit on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.....
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

Today is my first born's 12th birthday. Mixed emotions today as I watch my baby boy growing up to be a man. I am SO very proud of the person Caleb is today. He is such a caring and compassionate human being. I know God has big things in store for my precious baby boy. Happy Birthday Caleb!!

LID 11-8-2011

2011-11-15T11:19:00.000-08:00

Received our official Log In Date today. It is MUCH sooner than I had thought it would be. That is a good thing! Still hoping to travel around Aprilish :)

Four Moms

2011-11-13T15:25:00.001-08:00

Four years ago, four moms met. Nine miracles later...

Improvements

2011-11-13T10:16:00.000-08:00

Looks like my boy is doing well and even been able to sneak out if the hospital for some ice cream with his tutor. Love it!!

Photos After His Surgery

2011-11-11T08:10:00.000-08:00

Received these pics last night. He is on his way to a good recovery!